


To Walk From Comfort

by hakaibunshi



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, CW: alkcohol, M/M, Puzzleshipping, Violetshipping (in the background), Yami Yuugi | Atem Has His Own Body, cw: smoking, slight TW for strong-ish language I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:41:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27770911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hakaibunshi/pseuds/hakaibunshi
Summary: Atem is comfortable when he is with himself. And maybe with Seto. He likes quiet and structure.When freshman Yugi Muto moves into his dorm apartment as his new roommate, those structures slowly come tumbling down on him. Yugi is bubbly, approachable, and comes with a lot of friends. And he tries his best to get Atem tangled up in all of it, though he is interested in more than Atem's friendship.And Atem finds himself very responsive to the younger student's attempts at closeness. He just doesn't think they are a good match; after all, they seem so much like polar opposites.
Relationships: Atem/Mutou Yuugi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11
Collections: Yu-Gi-Oh! It's Time to G-G-G-Gift! [Mini-Exchange]





	1. onigoroshi

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theaterkidsamwinchester](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theaterkidsamwinchester/gifts).



~~o n i g o r o s h i~~

“Well, I understand that not all of us can be free of the mental chain that is romanticism.” Seto lights his cigarette on a candle meant to faint its smell and takes two puffs. “After all, humanity _is_ a flawed species.” The thin _treasurer white_ sits between his fingers like it wants to fall out. Its vapor climbs through the air before Seto’s face, thin and clean, shading his aura with a fake notion of adulthood and elegance.

At times, Atem feels secondhand guilt toward his friend who had to grow up so early—from what he heard of the years before they met. He sets up the board on the low table between them, allows himself a sip from a rare chardonnay, and leans back. The dimmed white light seaming the ceiling to the walls is the only illumination left, but it is sufficient. The night comes in black through the massive glass windows—glass walls, really—because the city lights don’t reach all the way up here, not for the most part. And the ones that do, get swallowed by the winter fog. Atem doesn’t dislike the room, not at all. But on Wednesday evenings, when Seto insists on playing Wagner through the surround sound system, he does think it tastelessly threatening. The ride of the valkyries always makes him feel the tower might collapse into all the glass and steel it is made of. It is that sort of chaos where Seto seems to be the most relaxed.

But it isn’t Wednesday. And above all, he came here on Seto’s request, outside their usual schedules. He even had someone fill in for him at the bookstore. Therefore it was for him to decide the music to accompany their game for tonight and therefore it was Chopin; gentle Chopin who didn’t frighten the construction of the tower but might, in some way, frighten his opponent. Else why would he always oppose him so passionately?

“I am not actually in love, Seto, I feel a sort of tender curiosity,” Atem opposes in borrowed words and gestures to Seto to take the first turn. If only Seto would be fond of compliments, he would tell him how well Chopin suited him, but he kept the truth to himself as many other things.

“Not in love, then why choose music for the yearning?” Seto puts down the cigarette onto a small ashtray where it will sit for a while, and opens the game with his pawn to 7f. 

It’s a statement, Atem is convinced, the way he lights them to have the money turn to smoke without polluting him entirely. To whom or for what reason, he doesn’t know. And the accusation of miserableness is just his way of complaining about Atem’s continuous talk about his lasting infatuation with his roommate. Which is fair enough, but he will oppose anyway. He moves, in response, his pawn to 3d.

“You might think me lazy for choosing the path of a student, but in fact, my life is very tiring already. I do not feel the need to exhaust myself with Wagner on top of that. It is stressful at best. I am calm, not depressed. You are just dramatic.”

“Well, if it isn’t that you chose the music to suit your mood, perhaps your lasting melancholy is the result of excessively indulging yourself in the nocturnes.” Knight to 7g. His expression already too sure, too stoic for Atem’s taste. “But far more disappointing is that your little crush is having a bad influence on your gameplay. When do you reckon, you will be over it?”

“It’s not a crush,” Atem replies. He moves a second pawn to 8d. The game moves on. Seto’s knight to 6e, Atem bites his lip and admits—only to himself—that he had not expected that. He has to pay attention. He slows down the game, leaning back into the leather skin of the armchair, and has some more of the 2005 Marcassin. He thinks about what could be Seto’s play.

“You might want to consider playing the game on the board, not on the wall?” Seto teases.

Forced to protect, Atem moves the silver general to 6b. “Allgemein ist die Hast, Seto, weil jeder auf der Flucht vor sich selbst ist.”

“Is that what the Arabs say?”

Atem rolls his eyes, knowing well that Seto knows better. “Nietsche. And you, my friend, need to learn the power of patience. If I might seem distracted to you, it is because I take my time to examine my options thoroughly.”

“When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self.” Seto moves his pawn to 7e. And so they go on. Atem doesn’t try to play faster, he enjoys that Seto is in a hurry, while he himself doesn’t know yet if he is or not. Over dinner, they have talked in great detail about the gathering at the student dorm tonight. One of Yugi’s spontaneous outcries for socializing. Nothing Seto cares about, but he humors Atem at times with his attention, to uphold the goodwill between them.

Knowing by now that his roommate is one of the scholarship students of Kaiba Corp, Atem tries to avoid this particular topic whenever he can as not to paint him in a bad light, but now and then he has to give voice to his thoughts and worries and Seto is the only person he calls a friend. And the young CEO has promised it would not have an influence on Yugi’s standing as long as his grades and results didn’t take a hit. 

Seto, after a focussed back and forth, drops his rook into the promotion zone, capturing Atem’s silver, promoting the rook to a dragon. Now he takes another puff.

Atem should have known then already that he had walked into a trap. But it isn’t until he touches his piece that he realizes the fatal situation he is in. His eyes crunch up and he seems to study the board, re-doing the previous moves, following the past pawns with his eyes. “Dammit … ”

Seto’s phone rings. By the custom ringtone, both of them know right away who it is. But they both ignore the interruption. Atem can’t figure it out.

“You should have left my bishop alone.”

“Jeez…”

“Indeed.” He sets a small speaker into his ear and gets up, taking the cigarette with him. But before he answers he leans over, takes a pawn off the board, and places it in front of Atem on the table. “Your first mistake however was moving the pawn to 3d.” He smiles like the devil would and presses the button to call back, as by now his boyfriend has given up.

His very first move? Atem, mouth open, stares at the piece while from the second wing of the room, the part that curves gently around the shape of the tower, Seto’s voice can be heard arguing against the piano. Atem doesn’t listen. But when one tries their best to ignore the bickers of these two, it is hard to oversee the antagonistic forces between them.

Atem checks his wristwatch. It’s a short way from midnight. Jounouchi should be with Yugi already. He doesn’t really know much about the boy. He is Yugi’s best friend, they have a history before college, have known each other since middle school. How exactly he had met Seto, Atem doesn’t know. Just that they always disliked each other, yet somehow one of their fights had ended in sex, probably due to excessive drinking beforehand. And that pattern had continued then until now.

He huffs to himself, clears the table, and thinks about the dubious plays that must have been at hand, considering how all of them—Seto, Jounouchi, Yugi, himself—had fallen into place like pieces as well. Only that he had yet to figure out what game they were playing.

He leaves the shogi board sitting at the tableside, packed together, sinks back into the leather, and finishes the wine, watching the night outside grow older until Seto returns and they finish their evening; Him complimenting the drink, Seto complaining about the lack of a challenge today. Atem, too, is disappointed but knows he will make up for it the next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who care for the details in chapter 1:
> 
> 1  
> Onigoroshi (鬼殺し, demon killer) is the name of a shogi trap.
> 
> 2  
> "I am not actually in love [...]"  
> is a semi-quote from The Great Gatsby.  
> The actual quote would be "I wasn't actually in love, but I felt a sort of tender curiosity."
> 
> 3  
> "Allgemein ist die Hast [...]"  
> Quote by Nitzsche that translates to something like "Common is undue haste, as everyone is running from themselves." (this is not an official translation)
> 
> 4  
> "When one is in love [...]"  
> Seto is quoting Oscar Wilde.
> 
> (I love them being nerds u.u)


	2. night walk

~~n i g h t w a l k~~

Once the automatic door slides shut behind Atem, leaving him to the fits of the night, his body, feet first, recognizes the season for what it is again. Seto’s office—or whatever it might be—always shelters both the body and the mind so that he tends to forget about other matters.

The night isn’t kind. He ducks his hands deep into the pockets of his coat and his chin into the comfort of a thick wool muffler. Just the ears will have to suffer until he reaches the dormitory. He walks neither fast nor slow. Eager to get home but not so eager to join the chaos that awaits him there. And he knows it enough to not let silly hopes get to him and make him think that perhaps by the time he arrives it will all be over already. It is Friday after all. Friday’s never really ended. They stopped somewhat automatically once the last attendee had passed out. Of course, he only knew this because living with Yugi had made it hard, if not impossible, to escape such knowledge. Atem realizes he thinks out of proportion. It wasn’t all  _ that _ intense. Most of the time, harmless get-togethers. Noisy game nights, quiet movie nights. But to Atem, anything beyond four people was a party.

It would be about 30 minutes from door to door, maybe a little more if the streets at the campus aren’t cleaned up properly. Around KC tower, one never really sees snow or such. It was taken care of as it came down. Though it is past midnight by now, the city never rests around this area. The office buildings are still lit for the most part and he is by far not the only one pushing himself through the discomfort of rain-snow blurring his glasses and the cold air creeping into the clothes through any tiny crack it can find. He contemplates listening to the new BMDH album but gets lost in his thoughts before he can even make a decision.

Seto was right in a way. Not about everything, of course. Despite his own beliefs, he wasn’t the kind of guy to be right about all things; for that, he was too well-educated. But, with all they had discussed over the past weeks, there was certainly an argument to make about Atem getting involved with his roommate. There was a reason people warned of moving in together too early on in a relationship. And when moving in together before even starting said relationship wasn’t too soon, then what was?

But Atem should have thought about that sooner. He had seen enough chances to decline the advances. And hadn’t taken them. Breaking it off now was breaking both their hearts unnecessarily early on. Nothing had ever been said or declared or even asked, but they had left teenage uncertainty behind them for a while now, and ‘not reading the signs right’ wasn’t really a thing anymore at their age. Looks and touches and smiles all meant something. As did allowing them to go on. They were at a stage that did not yet justify a dramatic scene but would certainly justify the awkward state between them that would last until Yugi found a new love interest. Yugi would be the one to do so because he is a chaser. And Atem had never  _ found _ love on his own. He always waited to be found and that tent to take time.

Per usual, discourse with Seto had an alarmingly sobering effect on him. Yugi is by no means what one would call a perfect match. Unless one got into raw philosophy. Reality was a little different. Opposites attract each other, yes, and the concept of making each other whole was a tempting treat, but facts tend to be on Seto’s side. Yugi was a wildcard. Positive, warm, cheerful, forthcoming. With more friends than Atem had books on his shelf and a place in his heart for each of them. Fountain of energy and goodwill. People like that saw a challenge in people like Atem. But grew tired of them quickly, too. Probably around the same time, Atem would be ready to warm up to someone. Perhaps it was wrong of him to make such blunt assumptions. But that’s where his mind went.

Atem was getting ahead of himself. He shook his head and sighed audibly. They weren’t even a couple. And he couldn’t even be sure that’s what Yugi would want. He didn’t know him  _ that _ well. He didn’t know if he was looking for something serious.

Around him, the office towers had turned to neighborhoods and small-time businesses. The winds had picked up without those tall barriers, scourging his cheeks now. A young woman comes running toward him, just seeing her naked legs makes him shiver. She gestures a lighter and without the exchange of words he makes her understand he doesn’t smoke. She hops on.

Atem was never someone to try around. When he had asked a girl out for prom back in his final year of high school, he knew he would marry her. And it had shocked him so deeply when he wasn’t able to sleep with her. Even more when he noticed why. He was looking for something meaningful. Something lasting. Maybe not forever, he wasn’t that idealistic anymore. But getting himself into something, knowing—well, assuming,—it would burn out within months, that wasn’t him at all.

Then why did he ever respond to Yugi’s advances? He should have shut him down from the get-go. Now they already tread on unsettled ground. Sure, so far nothing happened. But somehow still enough to disable the prospect of brushing it off and claiming to not be interested.

The noises had changed around him. No more cars but therefore breakout groups of students at the corners. He had reached the campus. He yawns but at the same time, his eyes are now more alert. He always checks if there might be people around that he knows. There’s always someone. He passes by the cafeteria and takes a sharp left, the student information and the administration building are in complete darkness, as was expected. But the library ahead was still in use. Students have a 24h access card and Atem understands too well the very few who would make use of this on a Friday night, escaping both the pressure of social engagements and the pit that was an overfilled library where countless quiet whispers quickly grew into something rather distracting.

He fumbles in his pocket for his keys although it is still a ten-minute walk to the dorm. Two younger students walk down from the library toward him and when they recognize him they bow their heads politely and mumble a tired greeting. Atem only remembers one of their names, but he recognizes them for two freshmen whose heads were always tucked together during the tutor class he had given until two months ago. Though they always seemed to listen nonetheless.

He passes another small group of four. They stop talking when he walks past. One of the girls steps after him and stops him for a moment, asking about his well-being. She hadn’t seen him at the store for a while. He remembers her. She used to come often to the museum for research. The bookstore he works part time at belongs to said museum. He explains that he has changed his shift recently. Conflicts with his schedule. Her friends all look at him funny and he excuses himself quickly, happy to leave the conversation. The snow scrunches beneath his feet, but not loud enough to not hear them whisper. “Who was he?” “The museum guy.” “Wow, I always thought you were exaggerating but he is pretty cool…” Perhaps he would blush a little but his face is frozen. He buries it deeper into his scarf and turns the corner to the dorms.

Without a doubt, Yugi is a good kid. Clever, too. And soon, other, younger, less somber people would be approaching him. People like his friend Anzu. She was a beauty and the definition of power woman. If Atem wasn’t gay, he would like to fall for someone like her. But he was. And Yugi wasn’t. He just didn’t care about any of that. According to himself.

And that was yet another thing that would forever be in their way, or would it not? Not that Atem had an issue with that. But someone attracted to women might even quicker be bored by what he could offer as a man.

The biggest issue was his friends, however. Yugi cherishes them so much. The fact that none of them were exactly fond of Atem would be yet another nail in the coffin. He had asked himself, how much would it matter to him if Seto disliked Yugi. He was Atem’s only friend. It was a likely scenario as well because Seto didn’t like anyone. Just as no one really liked Seto. But Atem came to a conclusion that never really helped his opinion: That it didn’t matter. Because neither did Seto care about liking the potential partner Atem could choose, nor did their friendship depend on any single factor outside of the anyways limited time they spent with each other. Yugi was different. For him, his friends were everything. Chosen family. If they all collectively disliked and disapproved of Atem, there was no way that would not have an effect.

Seto was the kind of friend who would happily see you walk into the trap to, later on, say “I told you so,” when things went down the drain.

Anzu and Jounouchi and all the others were of the “As your friend, I am telling you, step on the brakes now before you regret it” kind. And Yugi would trust them.

Atem feels thirsty suddenly, the wine laying heavy on the back of his tongue. 


	3. the games we play

~~t h e g a m e s w e p l a y~~

He stands outside for a few minutes, watching a group of three across the street laughing through their smoking break, and asks himself if there were people who started smoking solely because they needed a reason to bridge such moments of uncertainty. Knowing already that you will have to advance eventually, but not yet ready to do so. While he personally dislikes the habit, he is fascinated with any human rituals, be it ancient ones or modern ones.

As if it matters, he tries to make no noise walking up the 4 flights of stairs to their floor. No one would hear him coming up here, not even without the music. With each floor he ascended, it grew louder. The gathering wasn’t restricted to their own apartment unit. It spun across the whole west wing of their floor, which included 7 apartments. Three pairs of 2-student apartments and the one 4-student apartment at the end of the hallway. All doors were opened wide, tenants and visitors spilled out into the hallway.

Their apartment was on the far left. Impossible to get there without bumping into anyone, but perhaps no one who would recognize him.

Quietly he moves through the crowd. And where others would have to push through, people here make space for him, move out of the way. Because he isn’t just an older student, he is also a big shot. Someone you recognize from the bi-annual student paper. Or from the picture in the assembly hall, where he is seen shaking hands with Seto Kaiba—not yet his friend Seto Kaiba, but the young prodigy CEO Seto Kaiba, whom he beat in a card game to win an enormous sum of support funds for the university. Some also knew him from his irregular appearance at the anthropology department’s podcast. Though Atem is aware, those were the minority.

And even the ones who didn’t know him at all, they, too, moved out of his way because he had such a face and a superior glint in his eyes. One would naturally assume he had a function of importance even if no evidence would be provided. He, of course, doesn’t really notice any of that.

The couple living next door stands in their door frame, greeting him as he comes closer. He just nods without so much as a smile. It’s not that he doesn’t like to talk to them. He just doesn’t really know what to say. Usually, people don’t want to talk about some suspicious artifact unearthed the week prior by a highly respectable person they never heard about. And no one would care about the shogi trap Seto used to beat him earlier that night, either. Not in this dorm anyway, where the majority stemmed from the institute of physical education. However, there were others, too, of course. Such as Yugi, who was in nanophysics. Atem had chosen it because it was close to the library.

He would have liked to tell her that her dress looks stunning, but it might be inappropriate since her boyfriend is standing with her. He doesn’t really know. So he hopes someone else will tell her or already has. He walks past.

“Man, I told you I’m busy today. … Yes, so what? Do I look like your fucking lapdog?”

Atem knows that voice and that way of talking. He stops, expecting Jounouchi to turn the corner out of their apartment. He does and abruptly stops, raising his hands—one holding the phone, the other holding a bottle—and ‘ _whowhowhos’_ at him. Then he lowers his sunglasses. His eyes faintly bloodshot. “Hey man, I didn’t know you were here, too.”

If this is Jounouchi’s way of saying ‘why you gotta show up, I was just having a good time?’, he managed to hit, but Atem wouldn’t just go down and leave the house to the hooligans. Though he understands especially Jounouchi’s vendetta against him, seeing that Atem gets along a little too well with his lover. However, there have never been romantic intentions when it came to Seto. But insecurities didn’t really depend on logic, now, did they? Breathing steadily, he straightens his back as much as he can, even though attempts to make himself look taller against Jounouchi are born cursed. One didn’t just fake 20 centimeters. “Sorry, I live here.”

Jounouchi laughs as if Atem had made a joke, then puts one arm around him, dragging him back into the hallway. “I’m sure you have heard about this already. But this motherfucker really asked Yugi to spend his _entire_ weekends now on company time.” He stops a second and checks his phone. With a grimace, he pushes the ‘end call’ button. “Well, he better heard that. He knows my opinion, anyway. What's wrong with this asshole? Doesn’t he know what burnout is?” He takes a sip from the beer and offers it to Atem, who declines. Jounouchi talks loud and hastily, clearly not frustrated, but angry. He drags him into one of the other apartments, the one furthest away from their own. “And then he has the audacity to call me over. Ffff. When this is the only evening, he leaves me to spend with Yugi.”

Two girls Atem has never seen around stand in the kitchen and smoke under the extractor hood. They eye him down and whisper something between them, but Atem can’t hear it since the music is loud and Jounouchi isn’t done with his banter.

“I told Yugi not to take this shitty scholarship cause he is gonna be in the claws of the devil fucking forever! You feel me, man? You know him, so you know.” He hands him a plastic cup with a clear liquid. Atem smells and deducts it is Gin. It might even be the one that Seto brought him back from Europe a couple of months ago.

“How do you even spend that much time with him without going crazy? And he says you’re _talking_ as well.” He clicks his tongue and finishes the beer. Atem is uncomfortable. This was exactly the kind of thing Jounouchi would always say. Not that they got the chance to talk very frequently. But Yugi did invite him over rather often, not just parties also for dinner or such, and occasionally they would therefore cross paths. And every time, Jounouchi would make some or another comment about how much time Atem spent with Seto, and Atem would always feel the need to defend himself. Even though he never even once considered Seto anything but a friend. He takes a sip of the gin and checks left and right for an escape route while forming a response in his head.

“Seto thinks Yugi needs his stupid money. But you,” he points at Atem and thus interrupts his thinking, “have no idea just _how_ genius that boy is. He could have gotten a scholarship from fucking Einstein.” 

“Einstein.... is dead, tho.” He takes the rest of the drink in one sip. Might as well at this point.

“Oh common, man, don't get all smartypants with me, now. Dead guy is still better than this bastard.” Jounouchi shoots down a green-tinted party shot of tequila and trashes the cup into the plastic bag under the table. Atem ducks his chin and looks to the side. He shouldn’t have made that remark. He didn’t mean to come off as the know-it-all he was already taken for.

“That guy just doesn’t deserve someone like Yugi working for him. Makes me feel all sorts of not good.”

Atem wrinkles his nose. He knows the relationship between Jounouchi and Seto is run on different terms than your typical one on one liaison. But it still feels wrong hearing him talk about him like this. It is too much. He opens his coat and pulls off his scarf as well. His face feels red after being hit by the heat of the drink.

“One wouldn’t believe you are talking about your boyfriend.” Well, that came out wrong! He quickly looks up to check Jounouchi’s expression, asserting how much damage he had caused. Hopefully, he didn’t interpret it as a threat. It’s not that Atem wanted to take his man from him or anything. He sighs and turns away. He shouldn’t even be involved in that kind of drama; who was he to speak on Seto’s behalf?

“BOYFRIEND? Did he say that?”

Atem is unable to read the tone or expression. Was he upset or flustered? The question was a little unexpected. He thinks about the correct answer. Seto had, in fact, never called him that. And probably wouldn’t ever, now that he thought about it. For Atem, it is simply hard to label it as anything but that when he knew that not only were they exclusive, but also could they not go for two days without seeing each other. But he isn’t sure if that is the answer Jounouchi is asking for.

“Yeah, he'd be so damn lucky. He is just a rich guy whom I occasionally allow the pleasure of a good end to a miserable day.”

Eyes wide open, Atem grabs one of the tequila shots and swallows; and wishes he could get drunk immediately. He doesn’t want to have this discussion, and he doesn’t want to listen to Seto’s complaints about this ordeal later on when he would blame him for stirring up something between these two. “I really—” 

He is interrupted by a tall bleach-blonde girl who casually grabs Jounouchi's waist before noticing Atem and acknowledges him with a tight nod. She whispers something to Jounouchi, and they excuse themselves. Atem doesn’t know her name. But he has seen her around, she is a senior student, but he doesn’t remember her field of study.

He trashes the small cup and takes the chance to escape the situation. Briefly, he checks around for Yugi but can’t spot him anywhere and doesn’t stick around to search for him. He retreats into his room but leaves the door open as a sign of colloquial partaking. He doesn’t want to be that one guy. Even though he clearly is. Since sleeping is no option, he retreats onto his sofa bed after grabbing Oscar Wilde’s _The Picture of Dorian Grey_ off the shelf. Seto’s fault. He sinks into the book and doesn’t really notice how much time passes.

He is deep in between the lines but still notices almost right away when Yugi appears in the door frame. By the time he knocks, Atem already looks at him.

“Am I intruding?”

“You’re welcome to,” Atem says and invites him to sit.

“What are you reading?”  
“Wilde.” He closes the book and hands it over. Yugi pretends to read the summary at the back, but Atem can tell his eyes aren’t even focussing.

“You alright?” He asks carefully.  
“Just tipsy.” He straightens himself and looks at Atem, eyes half shut for the intemperance. “Sorry… Did you want to sleep? Should I try to,” he points at the door, “make them…”

Atem can tell that Yugi is looking at his lips. He chuckles and shakes his head. “All good.” He tugs at the cuff of his pants. “I think I said something strange to your friend earlier. I might have made him mad…”

“Katsuya said he saw you. He was actually looking for you. Why would he be mad? He seemed rather happy. Since you usually avoid any of our gatherings.”

Atem stares at a tiny scar on his calf. Yugi leans onto his shoulder, and there it is again. Those not so subtle moments that come and go between them are what Atem isn’t good at handling. Now, what should he do? Should he kindly ask him to distance himself—to protect a status quo that is already in shambles? Or should he continue to feed at this feeble enchantment that seems so ill-balanced?   
“You should really come out with us more often.” Yugi’s hand is on his thigh. He hadn’t even noticed. “It would be a shame to waste all your college years scooped up inside. And the others always appreciate it when you’re there.”

Oh, and he is so clearly so very drunk. Atem presses his eyes shut and turns away. He should not be tempted. This isn’t a good moment. He could tell him off. But already, he feels soft skin where his fingers brush Yugi’s neck. Was it too late to stop now? Perhaps it was.

“I’m drunk, but … don’t think I am beyond my judgment,” Yugi whispers, “It’s not that bad.” He skitters closer and nudges his nose against Atem’s, leading him on. “If anything-”

Atem interrupts him with a kiss, a shy one, testing the waters. He is painfully aware of the door that is still open and wonders for a split second if there was any intention behind that. Surely Yugi came here, knowing already what he would attempt. “If anything?”

Yugi’s fingers are caught in Atem’s shirt, towing him closer where there is already no distance anymore. “One could argue that I am taking advantage of you.”—”No, don’t laugh!” He pulls him in again because Atem has turned away laughing. “I can tell that you are drunk yourself. And you have been so coy about it all for months already if I’d leave it to you, nothing would ever happen.”

Atem presses his lips together, trying to swallow the amusement. But it is difficult. He brushes through Yugi’s hair instead, looking for composure and the right thing to say. Now, drunk or not, what is left but to come clean? And he feels unendurably sober suddenly. “I’ll be honest with you.”

“Well, I should hope so.”

Atem can’t help but smile. “I’m not sure we’re … a good match is all.”

Yugi seems to think for a moment, and Atem isn’t entirely sure if he appreciates that or if he is disappointed because he had hoped for Yugi to fight back the argument right away.

“Hm,” he finally says, playful jive tainting his cheeks in the faint light on the bedside table. “All that thinking you do, maybe it’s not always the best way to come to a conclusion.”

Ah. A true physicist talking.

“Sometimes, you have to hazard an experiment.” He bites his lips and pulls Atem closer again. Though his countenance has changed into something honest, and he is unable to hide his own nerves behind the daring speech.

“So… you’re asking if I am willing to try?”

“We’ve been trying it for a while already, but maybe that was just my misunderstanding. I thought I was rather obvious about it. Yes, I would love to give this a go. If you’re up for it.”  
“I guess it’s the only way to prove me wrong, isn’t it?” He can’t quite look him in the eyes. But if he is honest with himself, the thought of being with Yugi is overpowering the creeping worries that come with it. Maybe it was alright, somehow. He touches the hot skin underneath Yugi’s shirt, sliding his hand up toward his chest, while his lips softly love his neck, placing tiny kisses along the path from his ear toward his collar. Yugi’s giggles bubble up in Atem’s ears and reveal his innocence.

Footsteps before he even hears the other voice. “Hey, Yu- OH god!”

Atem startles and withdraws immediately and brings some distance between them, shielding his body with a pillow. Against Yugi’s laughter, Atem rubs his palms across his face. Whoever had just walked in had retreated the very moment they realized what was going on. And he isn’t able to distinguish all of Yugi’s friends by voice. He should have just closed that goddamn door. His head hurt until Yugi grabbed his hand and squeezed it a little.

“There’s worse.” He chuckles. “Let’s go back. We can continue this later after we kick them out.” Yugi gets up and tries to pull Atem with him, though it takes a few seconds for him to finally get up, legs heavy.

Staying here wouldn’t make it any better either, he thinks. “Who was that?”

“Dunno. Sounded like Ryou,” Yugi shrugs but takes a guess. 

Ryou. Atem couldn’t come up with a face. That would make it harder to avoid him.

Walking back into the crowd holding Yugi’s hand is the bizarre chimeran offspring between innocent joy and the discomfort any sort of PDA induces him with. Although he is certain that no one else even notices. The people here are not only too drunk and too self-indulgent but besides that, it wasn’t really news or surprising to anyone.

Just as Atem had found consultation in the after-work hours with Seto, Yugi had cried for weeks already about the situation between them to his friends. The circle of friends around him had been waiting for them to get on with it.

Atem laughs to himself. He doesn’t feel comfortable among the other students. But not adrift either. Not lost like usual. He holds onto Yugi and Yugi is the one who runs the evening. It is a pleasure in its own way just to watch him.

Yugi had once told him that in high school he found friends very late. That he used to spend his lunch breaks alone and didn’t know how to be with people. It was hard to believe.

In the hallway they talk to their neighbors for a while—Yugi is talking, Atem is standing next to him—and very unexpectedly during the silence that happens sometimes when a subject is about to change or one person is about to leave the conversation, Yugi looks at him, smiles and kisses him and no one minds it. Atem can feel the blood rushing through the vessels beneath his cheeks. Abashed he sips from his cup but fantasizes about getting used to this.


	4. invitations

~~i n v i t a t i o n s~~

“Atem.”

He turns to find Yugi’s pretty girl friend making her way over to him, cutting one cluster of heated discussion in half on her way. “Where’s Yugi?” She comes to stand before him but checks the space behind, stretching her neck left and right.

“Combini.” Anzu. She is a sports science major like Jounouchi, as far as he knows. But one year above, a sophomore. She hands him a drink. He really already had enough but accepts and timidly cheers with her. Periodically, his eyes fall to the side, checking the door to the hallway. It was taking Yugi unexpectedly long.

“So… I hear you guys finally made it official?” She winked at him. “I can’t wait for the aftermath,” she laughs. Atem swallows. What was that supposed to mean? He doesn’t quite understand.

“I mean,” she said, alarmed by his expression, “because all the girls will be crushed.” She giggles to herself before elaborating. Perhaps she assumes Atem knows what she is talking about. “I still remember last year you were assisting Mr. Redfield, right? During my second semester, I attended one of his seminars, the one on academic writing, and I know all the girls had a crush on you.”

He rubs the back of his neck. “I don’t think that’s … I never really got to talk with them much.”

“Most of them didn’t have the guts to talk to you anyway. Because you have this,” she waves her hand in front of him, “you know, you are a tad too cool. Out of the league, kind of. Well, that’s how we felt anyhow. Gotta be fair here and include myself, since I totally was one of those girls, too.” 

His lips part but there are no words for his doubt. 

She raises her hands in defense. “No worries. Very much over it.” She winks again. One could not argue that she was charming.

“If it was you I wouldn’t have said no,” he jokes.

She emptied her glass. “Don’t tempt me now.”

They share a laugh, and Atem finishes his drink. His shoulders feel stiff suddenly and he guides his fingers to his temples, massaging his tired mind. “Excuse me for a moment,” he smiles at Anzu and she nods, before turning to jump into conversation with a girl wearing almost identical clothes to her. They look sweet together, he thinks and leaves the hall.

As he walks past the 401/402 apartment unit, he can hear Yugi’s voice. He must have missed him coming back in. He pushes the door to the staircase open and scuttles down.

The wind outside has subsided, the air is still cold but at least it’s not as bitter as before. He left his Jacket upstairs, but the wall offers some protection. Now and then some student comes home, another leaves. Atem isn’t ever sure if they belong to the party or not, but it doesn’t really matter. All of them greet him when they see him leaning against the shell grey wall. His fingers are freezing, all red by now. But he is holding on to his phone single-mindedly, determined to give himself the break he needs. Or at least until the end of the video. Deep breaths trying to calm him down, despite him not knowing why he needs to be calm—no one else is.

“Evening.” Another student jogging back in, saving himself from the winter. Atem looks up briefly, nods over, then continues to watch HaughtyHands55’s commentary on the Smash Bros Championship’s finale. 

“Hey.”

He startles and looks up to find Yugi, leaning over the handrail, looking down. Smiling intoxicated, cheeks and nose flushed brightly.

He comes down, his steps a little wavering, and grabs Atem’s hand, pulling himself onto him. Atem combs through his hair, trying to get an idea of how drunk he is. If he is still fine. His kiss tastes heavier now than before. His tongue is cold and bitter. But his eyes sparkle, radiating against the night.

“Aren’t you cold?” Yugi dances around, rubbing his hands against each other.

“Hm. I’m okay. I’ll be up in a bit again.”  
“Just taking a break?”

Atem nods. Yugi pulls him into a hug, the tip of his nose brushes against his ear, playing with the small golden ring there. Atems hand wanders from the small of his back down to his bottom, then underneath the hoodie and up again, where they meet his naked skin. Yugi shudders and jerks away, winding himself. “Hey, your fingers are freezing,” he cries, laughing. “What were you watching?”  
Atem unlocks the phone and hands it over.

“Smash Bros?” As if it was the last thing he could have expected, he looks up at Atem, face full of disbelief.

Atem shrugs. “It’s kind of fun.”

“I thought you were into Shogi and Chess and all that.”

“Where’s the difference.”

Yugi laughs, pushes both his hands in Atem's back trouser pockets, leaving the phone there while kissing him again. A little more longing now. Atem engages, his hands in Yugi’s hair.

“Well.” Yugi pushes himself away, hands on Atem's chest, biting his lips. “I’ll be waiting upstairs. Take your time but don’t catch a cold.” He smirks at him as if he learned his flirting from Hollywood movies which makes Atem smile widely and shake his head. 

“I’ll be up in a minute.”

“Okay,” Yugi huffs. And runs back inside.

It’s eight minutes later and past three by the time he pushes the hallway door open again, finding the people reduced by just a little, tho it has become quite a bit less noisy. Atem wonders if he should push Yugi to end the night. Seto won’t await him before 11 am but it’s going to be long weekend nonetheless.

Rubbing his hands together, pushing the cold air out of his lungs, he finds Yugi in the big kitchen of the 4-people apartment unit, 407-410, sitting on the counter. One of the girls living there is teaching him how to properly mix a mojito, by the looks of it.

Atem stops in front of the door frame and decides to go back to his room instead.

“Atem!”

When he hears his name, he can’t distinguish by voice who it would be, though it sounds familiar. He turns back to check and from the kitchen table an unnaturally pretty boy is waving him over. Ceramic skin, therefore his drunkenness shows especially brutal on his cheeks and ears.

His hair is almost white and falls long onto his shoulders. Atem does not recall having seen him before and doesn’t know why he knows his name. He hesitates until the stranger calls him once more. Anzu is at the table as well. The small kitchen is already filled with a total of 7 people but what choice does he have at this point. Ignoring him now would just be rude. He walks in, poker-faced per usual, but ready to apologize if it turns out he just forgot who that is. He takes a deep breath and joins the group at the table. “Sorry, do we know each other?”

The boy laughs and his fingers drum on the table. “Atem! Listen, my friend, this is important.” Anzu squeezes his shoulder and intercepts.

“Sorry, Atem, this is Ryou. He’s usually polite.” The others laugh. Two tall fellows, and the girl from earlier, that dresses like Anzu. Atem wants to disappear. Ryou. So that is how his voice is familiar. He hardens his expression, taking a shot at telepathy to make Ryou understand not to bring up the small incident from before. If he did, Atem would be ready to fight him on the morals of walking into someone’s room without knocking.

“No time for this now, my love. Atem and I have business to talk.”

She rolls her eyes and reaches over the table to hand Atem a drink. He accepts with caution.

“So, Yugi said you would be,”—“might be,” interrupts Anzu—, “MIGHT be interested in joining my Smash party this Sunday? Yugi has been summoned by the devil and I really need someone to replace him pretty please please, will you?” Atem absently rubs his arm. He peeks across the room but Yugi is too preoccupied with a lime cutter to pay him any attention. 

“I heard you are somewhat a big deal around campus,” Ryou says and draws Atem’s attention again, who tilts his head slightly, pursing his lips as if has to think about what he’s implying. Ryou turns around to face Anzu. “No one said it’s because he is so attractive!”

Atem blushes. High praise from someone who literally looks like a porcelain puppet. 

“But now that I know, I must insist! Pretty please.”

“Will you take a breath, Ryou? And don’t reduce him to his looks.”

Atem barely has a chance to notice Anzu’s kind interference but he is thankful for it. He clears his throat. Although the music is clearly turned down a lot compared to before, he has a hard time not being distracted by it. Ryou is holding Atem’s hands and looks at him with big, hopeful eyes.

“I…” The thought alone makes him uncomfortable. He looks at the other people at the table. Everyone seems to expect something of him now and being put on the spot like this, he is overcome by a sudden desire to be alone. Though at the same time, there is something warm about this group of people. The guy at the other end of the small table is bickering with Anzu, though it seems to be a friendly exchange. They’re all smiles and chuckles with each other. It forces a tiny smile onto Atem’s face.

Ryou is making random compliments about Atem’s clothes, saying he loves his accessories in particular. He keeps emphasizing how much Atem would be appreciated at the game night—not just to fill the spot that Yugi is leaving due to his other obligations, but generally, as a handsome addition to the team—, and that Anzu will be there and Ryuji and Jounouchi of course and other really nice people. To Atem it sounds as if Ryou assumes a prior connection between him and all these other names. Perhaps, he is new to the friend group and unaware that Atem isn’t exactly a part of it.

Atem notices that Jounouchi isn’t here anymore, and wonders whether he ended up at Seto’s place after all. He shifts in his chair, and pushes Ryou’s fingers away, gently, not to insult him, just to put some distance between them so he can decline politely. One more look to the side tells him that Yugi isn’t on the kitchen counter anymore and only a second later he feels his hands on his shoulders. Yugi then leans down and hugs Atem from behind, covering him with his warmth.

“I,” he reaches to touch Yugi’s arm that gently squeezes around his neck. “I could make some time on Sunday. I guess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to cramp it into short story format but this AU deserves expansion.   
> (I would certainly love to get carried away by the Seto-dynamics here, both Atem and Jounouchi)
> 
> Anyway!   
> It's been a hot minute since I quit college and all I can go by are my fuzzy memories from attending German university (In case anything doesn't make sense for people attending college in other countries)
> 
> THANK YOU for reading~


End file.
